firstofficertightpants asked: I heard you were STRONG! But I want to know just how STRONG are you? Why dont we meet up and have an arm wrestling competition. If you win I'll give you a hoof beast of your own. How does that sound?

D—> Dear HawPaw
D—> I am quite STRONG indeed
D—> E%traordinarily STRONG
D—> If you sh001d wish to challenge me in my STRENGTH
D—> I am afraid you will lose, human
D—> And I will acquire the hoofbeast with great vigor
D—> Earth’s hoofbeasts are e%eptionally beautiful and I w001d love to own one

D—> With the STRONGEST of muscle fle%es
D—> Equius Zahhak

themickispecial asked: Dear Equius, Weren't you and the others going to come visit at some point in time? When is that going to happen? And... Well, why hasn't it happened yet? Sincerely, Micki

D—> Dear Micki
D—> Being as we are on an astroid out in space
D—> It is quite difficult
D—> Even with STRONG determination
D—> To make it over there

D—> With an apologetic sigh
D—> Equius Zahhak

a-bag-of-dicks-deactivated20120 asked: Dear Eq, I think the main reason they don't serve the good stuff is because this is more of a educational place for "young adults" who are "diet conscious" and don't realize they need milk always to ensure proper bone density when they reach the dreaded"middle age". Le sob. School is also a very elusive creature, and very widespread, it will be difficult locating/beating all of them. Totally sitting here stuffing my face with milkduds, Peacock. P.S. You're like my hero ok.

D—> Dear Peacock
D—> I do not care if these ‘sch001’s are elusive
D—> I will work very hard and destroy all of them
D—> They are endangering all of the wrigglers
D—> And wrigglers are very important to continuing STRENGTH in society
D—> Because they do all the work

D—> With a determined glare
D—> Equius Zahhak

D—> Post Script: I am glad to be a model of STRENGTH for you
D—> It brings me joy

themickispecial asked: Dear Equius, But before anything happens. It's really dark in my house, and I'm home alone... Would you mind coming over and protecting me? You know, since you're such a STRONG troll! Sincerely with a tad bit of fear and tears in her eyes, Micki

D—> Dear Micki
D—> I w001d love to
D—> Were I not on a meteor at the moment
D—> And unable to find my way there

D—> I will protect you through the internet

D—> With some warm milk and a blanket
D—> Equius Zahhak

themickispecial asked: Dear Equius, Hurr hurr, I knew it!! Oh, and also. If you would like to continue this... Evening, seeing as how it's going to end up, my friend Haley would like to join in. Since, you know, she also likes you. Is that fine with you? Sincerely with a pouted lip, Micki

(( tbh micki I lack in understanding of what you’re talking about ubububu jhgdskjhg ))

D—> Dear Micki
D—> I did not affirm nor deny anything regarding the towels
D—> Also
D—> Yes I suppose that w001d be alright with me
D—> Though I must speak to this ‘Haley’ first
D—> To see if she is STRONG enough to be writing with you and I
D—> Because I cannot have weak human beings fudging up my creativity
D—> It is just unherd of
………………………
D—> I seem to be hooving problems with animal-puns tonight
D—> Darn it
D—> Having

D—> With a flustered growl
D—> Equius Zahhak

a-bag-of-dicks-deactivated20120 asked: Dear Equius, I love milk it's like my matesprit but my school refuses to serve anything but chocolate and this watered down nonsense that doesn't even taste like milk, how do I deal with this? Seriously I'm going through withdrawals here and I want to punch everything in the throat, Peacock.

D—> Dear Peacock
D—> How c001d a ‘sch001’ not bother to serve regular milk
D—> There must be a fault in their think-pans
D—> I w001d not tolerate such lowb100ded behoovier from any kind of adult, especially ‘sch001’
D—> I demand that I meet with this ‘sch001’ at once
D—> So that I may educate them in why it is necessary to have plain milk
D—> Because it is required to grow STRONG wrigglers

D—> With a STRONG fist balled and at the ready
D—> Equius Zahhak

themickispecial asked: Dear Equius, Depends... Did you require any /towels/ of the fresh variety while reading what I wrote~? Heehee. Sincerely, with a mischievous grin, Micki

D—> Dear Micki
…………………………………….
……………………………………………………
………
D—> Hush you goshdarned sillyface

D—> With a towel in hand and a dark b100 blush
D—> Equius Zahhak

themickispecial asked: Dear Equius, How perverse of you to think about such acts!! Though, I wouldn't mind... Heehee... But that's off topic! I was talking about the short play we were writing, remember? We could show it off to all the kids in the class! Sincerely with an extremely red face, Micki

D—> Dear Micki
D—> Surely this was a set-up to embarrass me
D—> Because I was not thinking of anything
D—> E%plicit
D—> But implied from what you had written and the tone you used
D—> Though yes
D—> You may use our short play in your show and tell in this ‘class’ you speak of
D—> Whatever that means

D—> With a sigh of e%asperation
D—> Equius Zahhak

letterstofeferi-deactivated2012 asked: Dear Equius! I was surfing t)(e waves of t)(e internet and I came across t)(is fin! "Muscle Milk"! I figured I'd send a letter rig)(t over to s)(ell you all aboat it! It's like a Protein s)(ake to build Muscles and quenc)( t)(irst wit)( delicious Milky goodness! )(eeee. Glub and Bubbles, Feferi!

D—> Dear Highb100d

D—> I have herd about this ‘Muscle Milk’
— ….
D—> Heard
D—> Anyway
D—> It was quite disgusting despite the e%ceptionally enticing advertisement
D—> I c001d not bring myself to finish it
D—> Though I appreciate a highb100d such as yourself taking such consideration in my interests

D—> With a STRONG thumbs up
D—> Equius Zahhak

Anonymous asked: Dear Equius, why do you wear stockings? Love, anon.

D—> Dear Anonymous
D—> I do not wear stockings
D—> I wear thigh-high socks
D—> made with the STRONGEST material
D—> Due to the fact that I have ripped many a sock from the times when I have been roughhousing about with my robots
D—> Stockings are for females
D—> And not STRONG, masculine highb100d trolls such as myself

D—> With a sweaty wrinkle of the brow
D—> Equius Zahhak